Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He passed out mid-signature
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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