Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
