I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
