I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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