i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
