She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
