So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize