I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As shirtless as possible
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
