i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
