Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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