i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
