So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
