low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
