Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
