What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
