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Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
