I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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