a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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