So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
