I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
