he wants to bone in the snuggie
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
