Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
