Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
