moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize