She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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