dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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