last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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