dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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