Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
