Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you had me at cake vodka
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
