It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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