wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
