did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
