i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I could fuck to npr.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
