He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
