kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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