"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
