i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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