NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
