I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
