Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
