mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
