who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
