I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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