Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
only if we run a train.
done.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
