so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
