Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
