He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
