we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
