Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
