Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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