You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
