i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
