you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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