brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
