how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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