What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
