I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
