Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
